


Test Drive

by kayliemalinza



Series: Freewrites [3]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Body Swap, Dubious Consent, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-11-03
Updated: 2008-11-03
Packaged: 2017-10-27 07:04:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/292998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayliemalinza/pseuds/kayliemalinza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Due to an alien device, Ianto and Gwen switch bodies. Then, at the inopportune moment, they switch back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Test Drive

Ianto stopped thrusting. "Oh," he said. "Er—"

" _Fuck_ ," said Rhys, and squirmed out from under him.

Ianto cleared his throat at the wet slide of their pricks against each other and awkwardly settled on his side, swathed by Gwen and Rhys' purple duvet.

Rhys pulled up his shorts so fast the elastic snapped against his hips. His face was an alarming shade of red. "I told Gwen," he muttered. "I _told_ her this was the stupidest, most daft idea—Should've just waited it out, I said. Had a bit of a reccie. But she goes on about _test drives_ and golden opportunities—" The words choked in his throat and he went silent, tugging furiously at his trousers and an inside-out shirt.

"Just a bit off in the timing, is all," Ianto said soothingly. "Er—would you happen to know where my—"

Rhys disappeared on the other side of the bed, then popped back into view with a bundle of clothes. "Gwen, she er, spilled some marinara sauce on your shirt there," he mumbled, face still flushed.

"The hands take some getting used to, I suppose," Ianto said, accepting the pile of his clothes. "I fell down about three times. Off-balance because of the—ahem," he said, holding his hands in front of his chest in an illustrative manner.

Rhys glared at him. "Those are my wife's _breasts_ you're talking about!" he yelled.

Ianto smiled and said mildly, "For a few hours there, they were _my_ breasts."

Rhys's face went hard.

"...but you don't really want to hear about that," Ianto added hastily. He wrestled on his boxers under the covers, watching out of the corner of his eye for any incoming fists. Rhys wavered in the corner of the bedroom, a tightly vibrating mass of anger, embarrassment and (it must be admitted) a small amount of pudge. Ianto was just tucking his (wrinkled) shirt into his (even more wrinkled) trousers when Rhys said in a somewhat cracking voice,

"Did you and uh, Captain America go on any—test drives?"

"Naturally," said Ianto. "They're always bragging about their multiple orgasms, aren't they?"

Rhys gave a strained little chuckle at that, but also looked completely terrified. "So you're saying that just now, when you two switched back, my wife ended up in bed with—"

"We had warning," Ianto said quickly. "The equipment in the Hub went crazy. We didn't really know what it meant, but I got dressed anyway, just in case." Jack was still completely starkers, but Ianto felt Rhys did not need to know that.

"Even so," Rhys ground out, eyes slitting. "That bastard has seen my wife. _Naked_. He's touched her!"

Ianto fell silent for a moment, doing up the buttons of his shirt. He and Gwen had discussed this right at the beginning, set boundaries on what they could do with each other's bodies. He hadn't analysed too deeply why Gwen chimed in eagerly when Jack mentioned sex. Why Jack had brought it up to begin with he already knew, and it had less to do with Gwen than she would probably like.

"It wasn't really like that," Ianto said finally. "If it makes you feel better, it didn't feel like her at all. Obviously, the visuals were accurate, but...." he trailed off, then shrugged.

Rhys swallowed, glanced away, dropped his head. "I know what you mean," he said. "The face was all different, and the voice, but it was _Gwen_ in there, I could just feel it. That's the only reason," he said with sudden forcefulness, "the _only_ reason that we—that I agreed to—" he gestured helplessly at the tousled bed, eyes bugging out.

"Of course," Ianto said smoothly. "Jack made a very similar remark." He smiled reassuringly at Rhys, who looked like he might jump out the window any moment. "Well," said Ianto. "Shall we go down to the Hub? I believe our partners will be expecting us."

"Right," said Rhys, and let out a long breath. "Fucking Torchwood," he mumbled. "Fucking Torchwood and its fucking alien body swap devices."

"Eloquently put," said Ianto, and let Rhys leave the bedroom first, like a gentleman.


End file.
